now i know why i became what i already was.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
