I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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