so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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