I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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