About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
