I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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