yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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