She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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