I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
