I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I want to be your penis for a week.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
