The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
