Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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