it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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