So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
