Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
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Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
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it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
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