Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
