So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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