literally had 100 drinks last night.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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