you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
