No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize