Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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