I want to walk on stilts...naked
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
