i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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