Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
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And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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