Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
