is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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