What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
