Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
