You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
