I am in a vortex of obligation.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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