omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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