I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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