school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
