when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
