that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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