I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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