Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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