i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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