pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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