I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My bed smells like the plague
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
