i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
