I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
