I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
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