I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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