I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
