I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
