just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
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Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
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It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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