Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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