Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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