Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
