I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
