I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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