so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The beer is more important than you right now.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
