shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
