I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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