That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i drank out of a bidet.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
this hospital has no fireball
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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