so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
