I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
