Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
