there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
